The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure? I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”
The vet rolled his eyes, left the room and returned with a Labrador retriever. The dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and led it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely a dead duck.” The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill and screamed, “$150! Just to tell me my duck is dead?”
The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it’s now $150.”
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What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.
What did the ghost say to the wall?
Hey, sorry just passing thru.
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line!
What did one wall say to the other?
Meet you at the corner.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
What’s worse than having a worm in your apple?
Taking a bite and finding half of a worm in the apple!
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his dad, “I need to borrow two hundred dollars.”
At the other end, his father says, “Sorry, I can’t hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line.”
The boy shouts, “Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!”
“Sorry, I still can’t hear you clearly,” says his father.
The operator cuts in, “Sorry to cut in, but I can hear him perfectly.”
The father says, “Oh, good. YOU send him the money!”
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